McCoy and Jim Kirk's hairloss problem as chronicled by Miss Chapel
by TFALokiwriter
Summary: Inspired by a photoset of Karl Urban and John Cho telling what happened between movies. Pre-slash. Pre-beyond.


Jim looked at McCoy. Baffled.

"Why am I losing my hair?" Jim said.

McCoy at first shrugged.

"I don't know," McCoy said. "Perhaps stress is the answer."

Four hundred thirty lives, yes, that could be the answer.

"Can you fix it?" Jim asked.

McCoy smiled.

"I can fix a rainy day." McCoy jotted down on a padd. "Now, you must take this once per day." He laid the padd on the nearby table. "Nurse Chapel!" McCoy called. "Get the hair loss pills for me, will you?"

"Yes, doctor." Christine Chapel replied.

Christine's hair was curled around the top of her head rather than it being down on her shoulders. She handed a bottle to a patient sitting on the biobed. She saw on the captain was sitting on the biobed with his hands on his lap. He was only human just like all of them. She was surprised his hair hadn't been turning gray at his responsibilities. She opened the cabinet to find several bottles. She mumbled to herself searching for the bottle.

"Any kind of other problems?" McCoy inquired.

"No, not really." Jim said.

"Good, because I hate for you to become blind on my watch." McCoy said.

"Bones, with you around, I won't become blind." Jim said.

"Considerin' you are allergic to everythin' that isn't Earth made," McCoy said. "I doubt curin' your new state of blindness."

Jim smiled.

When Jim smiled. It was like looking at the sun. Bright, brilliant, and lovely. That smile was casted on her when it was discovered Roger Korby had died. It was a comforting one. Christine's hands came to a stop on a pill bottle that had a label which stood out to her. It read: **EXPERIMENTAL TRIAL**. Experimental? She frowned finding it odd. **DO NOT GIVE UNLESS CERTAIN THIS PERSON IS NOT A DELTAN, VULCAN, TELLARITE,ANDORIAN,ROMULAN,AND SO ON. THIS IS TRUSTED TO HUMANS. ONLY. ACCESS GRANTED TO DR LEONARD MCCOY.** She looked over to see that the captain had a bald spot on the side of his head. Jim was lightly touching it with a wince, an uncomfortable one, in the newly given uniform. Nurses were given new uniforms as of 2262. The white ones were replaced by light blue versions that were long and had sleeves with rank. Away went the yellow and blue shirts with the black regulation shirt underneath. Away went the white attire that medical officers had to wear. Truth be told, Christine had been envying McCoy for the colored uniform that fit his muscular body. The captain's shirt always looked terrible on Jim and it was a shade of green not yellow. She saw another capsule which read EXPIRES 2262/6/12. It was well past that. It was 2262, December 11.

Christine assumed, being busy on missions probably left this gone unnoticed.

She took the two capsules out then tossed the older version into the dispensary. She returned to the doctor and the captain. She handed it to McCoy, "Here, doctor." Jim looked like a different man from the man she first met all those years ago. He was confident, responsible, mature, and diplomatic. But oddly enough she felt he was lonely. How could he be lonely with the doctor and the first officer by his side? It didn't make sense to the woman. She left the two going over to a ensign who was limping their way in thanks to Janice Rand.

"Christine!" Rand called. "I need some help here."

Christine was not surprised to see Kevin Riley smiling sheepishly back at her.

The Irishman was unique,but most importantly, one of a kind.

"What did you two do this time?" Christine asked.

"Yoga." Riley said.

"Karate practice." Rand said.

"It was Yoga!" Riley insisted.

McCoy looked up from Jim then looked over at the three then back toward the man.

"If you have any problems with it, come to me,Jim." McCoy said.

"I will." Jim said.

* * *

Christine was on her third shift while McCoy was in his quarters sleeping. He had been up for the past twenty-eight hours due to a code black. Code black was chaotic. Doctor M'Benga was treating the remaining crew who lingered with non life threatening injuries. His blue eyes were calming, at least to Christine's opinion, and his voice was smooth. At one point his voice lead a patient to sleep when they were suffering insomnia for a few days. McCoy dubbed him the Insomia Breaker and assigned M'Benga to those cases often. Which worked well for Sick Bay and its usual patients. The insomia problem went away as it had came.

Captain James T. Kirk entered Sick Bay with Mr Spock by his side.

"Captain." M'Benga said, looking over from Nupta Sung. Nupta appeared to have dry eyes, her hair was a mess, and she had a tear in her uniform. "Commander. What brings you here?"

"The captain is experiencing nausea, headache, and blurry vision due to a side effect from the pills Doctor McCoy gave him." Spock replied. "No hallucinations nor auditory hallucinations. These are interfering to his ability to command."

Jim was rubbing the side of his head

"This headache is killing me." Jim complained.

M'Benga looked onto a padd.

"Oh!" M'Benga said. "Christine, get some pain killers!" He looked over toward the captain. "It appears these pills are working but Doctor McCoy will have to figure out what is going on. I can put a cap on the pain."

"That would be acceptable." Spock replied.

Christine came back with the pills.

"Your hair has grown back, captain." Christine said. "Hello, Mr Spock."

"You have choose a excellent hair style, Nurse Chapel." Spock said.

Christine smiled.

"Really?" Christine asked.

"Affirmative." Spock said.

""I am preparing for shore leave with Nyota." Christine said. "My hair feels heavy."

"May I suggest a method to your hair styling?" Spock inquired. "Go to the barber and make it bearable."

"I will do that." Christine said.

"Thank you, Doctor M'Benga." Jim said,thankful. "Mr Spock-"

Spock had his hand on Jim's shoulder.

"I will escort the captain to his quarters and ensure he takes the pill." Spock said.

The pair turned away from Sick Bay then exited through the doors. Christine returned to making her supplementary log, adding, "It appears Captain Kirk's hair loss problem escalated." She looks over to a photograph of her and her parents smiling broadly at Star Fleet Academy. She remembered the tearful reunion they shared after surviving the attack that destroyed several starships. She got to meet Winona Kirk, a well regarded Engineer who didn't stay long in one place. The smile faded. In came Kevin Riley with a "ow,ow, OW MY ASS!" Christine looked over in the direction of the thin, brown haired man.

"Nurse Chapel!" M'Benga called.

"End log." Christine came over to the two men.

"I can't believe-AH, MY GOD." The doors had closed behind the young man. "OW, OW. OW. OW. OW. OW. . OW. MY ASS." She applied the hypospray to the man's neck. "Ahhh..." His eyes slackened and he started to fall when M'Benga caught the young man. "Mommy."

"We agree not to call Leonard." M'Benga said.

"This is trivial compared to what he went through." Christine said.

"Use a medical tricorder on our patient," M'Benga said "Now if this is a pine apple. . . We have a serious problem with Kevin Riley and his sex drive."

"Pine apple?" Christine said. "Who would put a pine apple in his ass?"

"Someone who has had enough of his antics on the bridge toward a certain ma." M'Benga said, placing the man onto his chest on the biobed. His vitals came back fine. Christine picked up a medical tricorder then did a sweep. She came to a stop at his ass noticing something pointy sticking out. "I don't know what is up with up with the lower decks these days."

"Doctor-" Christine said.

"It's like they have forgotten this is a ship not high school." M'Benga said. "Jim has gotten better."

"Geoffrey." Christine said.

"Yes?" M'Benga said.

"Something is penetrating his ass." Christine said.

"What?" M'Benga said.

"Riley has a sharp object in his ass." Christine repeated.

"Dear god. Let's prep him for surgery." M'Benga said. "Christine."

"Yes?" Christine said.

"Nurse Riddick will be on duty when this operation is over." M'Benga said. "Go to bed after surgery. We need a fresh nurse. Not a exhausted one."

Christine nodded.

"I will make sure." Christine said, then put away the medical tricorder and helped M'Benga put the patient on the gurney on his chest. And off they went into the sterile surgical room that was part of Sick Bay.

* * *

Christine Chapel awoke that morning feeling refreshed. Her long hair was well below to her backside. She hesitated standing in her sonic shower feeling the water soak the hair against her skin. She was hesitating on the thought of actually going to a barber and cut her hair. Her hair was thick and it did need to be thinned out. She sighed then looked over to her alarm clock showing the time. She had enough time to go to a barber. She put her make up on and kept it down loose. She saw her hair had a gray strand. She could use the colorizer to get rid of the gray hair but it was only one gray hair. Not like it would get out of hand and her entire hair turn gray over night.

After breakfast, she went to the barber. She allowed her hair to be thinned out and cut to the point it stopped at her shoulders. She felt lighter and her hair wasn't heavy. It was fitting. How long had she been growing her hair out? Quite a long time. She was hesitant of cutting it. She only cut it when it became too long for her to bear which was a few times in her life. She had to cut it more frequently when she joined star fleet for Roger Korby. Just to be there when he was found. It gave her hope. Here she was, helping others, dealing with that grief. She styled her hair after leaving the barber.

"You look pretty,sugah." Christine heard Nyota. Christine saw Nyota walking alongside Janice Rand.

Christine felt her cheeks blush.

"Thank you,Nyota," Christine said, in a squeaky voice.

Damn. Why can't she speak to the woman properly,again? Was she enchanted by her prowess? Her underlying, attractive elegant personality? Whenever she saw Christine. The brief kiss they shared before going down to the planet Koby was stationed on was still on her mind. It hadn't left. It was a kiss for good luck, Nyota explained afterwards after giving the crying woman a hug. She had started off with a shy relationship with Nyota but there were times then and again where she had inaudiable volume when Nyota complimented her when she was walking by. She felt wrecked and angst when learning the woman was in a relationship with Spock. What part of Nyota brought out the squeaky side from Christine? Some men were capable of bringing that part out but no woman had been capable of it until she came aboard the Enterprise.

She could remember in the clinic at the academy working with McCoy getting his Star Fleet commission. He would come in with neat, combed hair then come out with bed-side hair and circles under his eyes. Though, he did leave in between hours for classes such as xenobiology,history,and PhysicaL Education. He was a skilled man with good hands. She learned his father,David McCoy, had a part in him becoming a doctor. In a clinic in Georgia is where he spent the most of his life in asides being outside a majority of the time. She envied him. She started her interest in being a nurse when her grandparent fell ill during summer vacation at her grandparents. McCoy rarely talked about his parents but he did talk about Joanna when he was drunk. M'Benga assigned Christine to be McCoy's listening ear and let him talk his heart out. The counselor rarely got to have a session with McCoy. Star Fleet learned the hard way of how tight lipped McCoy was with counselors after the Narada Attack. McCoy had relationship issues, that much Christine and the other nurses in sick bay could tell. His relationship with the command crew was excellent at best than it was a few years ago. They had matured into their roles. Scotty,however, was still the same man he was a few years ago. Only he loved the Enterprise even more. And there was something between Keenser and Scotty going on.

Christine walked through the doors into the pristine clean sick bay. It was rounded and circular with white covering on the biobeds that had straps. They had been added under safety concerns for patients when the Enterprise was either falling in orbit. McCoy was at his desk reading logs. His hair style had changed from the last time she had seen him hours ago. It looked as though someone chased after him with scissors and pinned him down to get rid of those perfect bangs. The first time she walked into this room she felt like she was in the Star Beast with Ellen Ripley portrayed by Susan DeMarco. The short blonde hair that was curly when left grown out. A warrant officer turned survivor turned leader. A strong, independent woman turned the lone wolf against the Star Beasts.

"Nice haircut, Leonard." Christine said.

McCoy looked up.

"Good morning, Christine." McCoy said. "And here I thought I would be the only way to oversleep." He snorted. "I am wrong as a sick cow." Then his attention returned to the padd. "Good work with Riley. That removal of a dildo had to not be easy."

"Romulan Dildos are a specialty," Christine said. "I never seen one of them made before. I have to thank the kobyashi maru medical programming Mr Spock made."

McCoy laughed.

"I had to see it for myself, too," McCoy said. "I expect not to hear Mr Riley comin' in again with a injury."

"Don't expect the best when it comes to Mr Riley." Christine said.

McCoy raised a brow.

"Hm?" McCoy said. "I know this navigator like the back of my hand."

"He got drunk last Shore Leave and ended up in a sacred fountain," Christine said. "Janice and I dug him out before the locals knew." She rubbed the back of her neck. "He just started getting into self defense classes."

"Oh," McCoy said. "That fountain? The one with the twisted angel statue? And the catfish?"

"Yes." Christine said.

"He didn't read the text by chance?" McCoy said.

"No, we didn't." Christine said.

McCoy had a short laugh.

"I'll prepare myself for what he may come back with in the next twenty minutes." McCoy said.

Two ensigns entered the room.

"We need a doctor!" Came the ensign. "My friend is suffering some ailment."

The young man was spazzing. Christine helped the ensign bring the ailed friend to the biobed. McCoy was scanning the man with a tricorder checking for any irregularities. Christine strapped him to the biobed then retrieved a hypospray that the doctor requested. McCoy injected the hypospray against the skin. The readings were off the charts even with the dose. McCoy panicked then grew determined. He wasn't going to lose this patient in the morning. Not at all. He checked the medical tricorder to see a irregularity in the heart.

"This kid has a blockage in the heart," McCoy said. "I hardly use this kind of hypospray-get the Teylethional!"

Christine retrieved it than handed it to the doctor.

The man finally stopped moving but he was breathing. McCoy sighed in relief.

"Nurse Chapel," McCoy said. "Are you wide awake enough to perform surgery?"

"Affirmative,doctor." Christine said.

* * *

The next few days were rather normal. Asides to a boy named Charlie Evans with his eyes on Janice Rand. Being mysteriously picked up off a abandoned starbase. Christine hadn't seen her in the rec room since Nyota lost her voice. He drifted into sick bay absent mindly. The boy looked over curious over the woman's shoulder to see the patient was Kevin Riley with red eyes and black pupils. He had marks alongside his cheek that looked like scars. Riley was terrified

"I don't know what is goin' on, Christine. " Riley said. "I get attacked by this beast out of no where and it was not a tribble."

"The doctor said you are to remain in your quarters without distractions for the next week off duty." Christine said.

"But Christine-" Riley began to protest.

"Don't but me, mister I-disturb-sacred-sites." Christine said.

Riley's mouth fell slack.

"That was an accident. You can't honestly believe I did it with bein' lucid." Riley protested.

"You peed on it before getting drunk." Christine said.

"I didn't do that." Riley denied.

"And then you littered." Christine said.

"Now that is an exaggeration." Riley said.

"I was there when you were pinning on Rand." Christine said.

Riley's face turned heated red.

"I am pinnin' DONALD." Riley said.

"Oh, so, then,-" Christine was cut off.

"He's sterile." Riley flatly said.

"My apologies." Christine sincerely said.

"He doesn't have genitals because his parents had them removed when he was born. He was both genders," Riley wiped off tears that were red. "They could have made him a boy but no they wanted a pretty little girl. They dressed him as a little girl for as long as they could. And that was fuckin' torture for him bein' someone he should not be. And because of his parent's choice, he can never give them grandchildren. And I can't be his partner because this shit is happenin' to me."

"That is cruel." Christine remarked.

"I dumped him. I dumped him. I dumped him." She placed a hand on his shoulder. "My life is _ruined_."

"You still have your friends." Christine said.

"Being attacked randomly by something no one can see?" He appeared to be angry. "I don't honestly believe that a relationship can last with it. I wish I didn't exist." Suddenly in a blink of an eye the man was gone, she screamed yanking her hand back. Nurse Riddick and Nurse Smith came to the woman's side knocking Charlie back. She could feel her heart beating against her chest. This kind of event didn't always happen in sick bay. None at all. You would think a woman on a starship. But she was not. They brought her over to a chair and allowed her to sit back and relax before explaining. She saw the man in a light orange tunic and black complimenting pants appearing to be angry. There was a orange flash and the two nurses vanished before her eyes. McCoy came into the room out of the office.

"What in the world is goin' on?" McCoy asked. "Charlie?" He saw a terrified Christine Chapel staring at the young man';s direction paralyzed in fear. "Charlie, what happened?"

"They made me fall." Charlie said.

"Who did?" McCoy said.

"The two adults." M'Benga was currently off duty in the rec room. "They were punished."

"You can't punish people without the captian's permission." McCoy said. "Hold on, let's find the captain, and we will discuss on what you mean by 'they were punished'-" McCoy reached his hand out toward the boy's shoulder. The boy mimicked his furious look when the man's hand gripped his shoulder. His eyes widened and he collapsed. "MY LEGS."

"Don't touch me." Charlie said.

Charlie left.

"CHARLIE!" McCoy shouted.

The alarm of seeing McCoy on the floor with his hands wrapped around his legs brought her back into nurse mode. She helped the doctor over to the office where he could page the bridge and inform what something new had happened. She was in a state of shock herself bringing a long solid surface for his leg that appeared to be intact but in reality was crushed by the inside or so she understood. She applied to a hypospray to the side of the man's neck.

"Doctor McCoy to bridge." McCoy said.

"Bridge here." Came Spock's reply.

"We have an emergency." McCoy said.

Spock raised his eyebrow over the screen.

"What kind of emergency requires a call to the bridge, doctor?" Spock inquired.

"It's Charlie." McCoy said. "As much as I would love to be paralyzed I would mind if it were some god like entity. And it seems this child has done somethin' to a few of my staff."

Spock considered that.

"I will inform the captain," Spock said. "I have a developing theory about this station that I will share with the captain. Bridge out."

"Leonard,let's see if our bone regenerator can give your legs back." Christine said,

"That kid-" McCoy started.

"Is not a real god, or else, he would have undone what he done to you." Christine had found the power to speak again. "It's what a friend would do for their colleague."

"Perhaps it is not that bad after all." McCoy said.

* * *

And afterwards, Riley and many other officers were returned, but Riley was a walking depressed mess that needed some cheering up. Christine rounded over fifty officers and used her one chance to ask Nyota out on shore leave to help a friend. He was happy for a time. Incredibly happy. Then he was found with his eyeball on the floor and looking like he was being attacked in the mens room by a beast. It was terrifying but whatever was attacking him went through Christine who tackled it to the floor despite it being not being able to see. McCoy confined Riley into a room in sick bay, with his eye back in, and explicitly explained why it was imperative that he not move for a week. He was being hunted by a transparent beast that hunted based on movement. McCoy helped in part by putting him into a medical induced coma. That was last week. McCoy was supposed to take him out of it with Spock and Captain Kirk's permission.

Jim came in with McCoy.

"So you can't have sex?" McCoy asked.

"Bones, please." Jim said.

"And you have been taking six medications all for your hair," McCoy said. "That so vain of you."

"I don't want to lose my hair, nor do you." Jim said.

"My eyesight in the distance is terrible, just wait until you are sixty and you have hearing problems because of your missions on alien planets or because being near explosions as often as you are." McCoy said. "Personally? You walking around without hair is probably the most powerful scene."

"No, it isn't," Jim said. "I have a reputation in Star Fleet to protect."

"Doctor," Christine said. "Mr Riley."

"Right." McCoy said. McCoy took out a hypospray from a drawer then injected it into the man's neck. Riley started to stir. "Jeeze, Jim, and here I thought you cared more about your relationships than you god damn looks." McCoy shot a look at the captain. "And your genitals. Is that all you care about?"

"Yes," Jim said. "Seducing crazy women is what this is for." He pointed down. "Not that I am interested in them. But this has saved your life and Spock's life and the ship's crew more than my diplomatic talk. If I can't have sex then next week I might as well make the biggest blunder in Star Fleet history."

"Relax, infant," McCoy said. "People love you because of your personality."

Christine went over to Keenser who came in with a hand injury. She put up a stool for the little alien then performed a medical scan once he sat down onto it all the while overhearing the conversation. Jim apparently didn't agree with the doctor's reply. Personally, the way he talked was peaceful and steady and mature. She thought that is why some leaders to planets, who were not female, got along with him. She could hardly picture that Captain Kirk, the best captain in the fleet, using his genitals to save everyone's lives. It was quite ridiculous in her opinion. Then again she wasn't the one who had to read their logs and accounts of what happened on the away missions. She took out a dermal regenerator and a bone regenerator. The bone was easily repaired. Next was the dermal. Riddick was taking care of Donald, the man Kevin broke up with, who was ranting about how awful his life was. Medical staff were apparently better listeners than the counselors.

"J. . Jim?" Riley said. "Can you pass me the tuna salad?"

"Kevin, I wouldn't pass you the tuna salad if we were not in sick bay." Jim said.

"Oh!" Riley straightened up on the biobed. "C-C-Captain, sorry about that, it's-"

"It's fine,Kevin." Jim said, with a soft smile.

"Nurse Riddick, get me the pills that increases the sex drive," McCoy said. "The ones that work well against Kloserun."

"Yes, doctor."

Christine was organizing the equipment when Riddick, with brown eyes and brown skin, came to her side. She took a hypospray labeled Kloserun from the cabinet then made her way back to the small group. She looked over to see Jim sitting down on the edge of the nearby biobed talking to Kevin regarding how he was feeling. It was all complicated and long regarding the captain's problem. First he needed a pill to counter hair loss, then the next was to counter the sickness that occurred because of the pill, a pill to counter hallucinations,a pill to counter fatigue, a pill to counter his fingernails from rapidly growing, a pill to balance out his puking,a pill for feeling hungry all the time, and now a pill to counter a slight impotency. It was a complicated train of thought that went into the background of her thoughts. Somehow, they needed pills that worked on hair loss and did not make the patient suffer.

Specifically James T. Kirk.

"How are you feeling?" Jim asked.

"Dread." Riley said, as McCoy used a medical scanner on Jim.

"You should talk to the counselor." Jim said.

"Counselors? With what I went through? I have gone through what kids shouldn't have gone through. Let alone children. You know that, Jim. Surely you must know how it feels." He looked the man at the eye. "You wouldn't be afraid of death if it came to you. Now would you?"

"No," Jim said. "Annoyance, possibly. Because I wouldn't be done yet when I was possibly killed."

"Knowing you, that might actually happen." Riley said. "The boy who escaped death with the Tarsus Nine."

"Uh huh, just as you said," McCoy said. "Looks like you are goin' to take several pills until we figure out how to treat your baldness."

"Bones." Jim said.

"This is the last pill, I promise." McCoy said.

Riley laughed.

"Getting pumped full of pills, are you?" Riley said. "For the guy who avoided the so called 'LDS' like the plague. . ."

"It is LSD." McCoy said.

"You attract a lot of pills for someone allergic to everything." Riley said.

This story would be something to talk about to Christine's grandchildren.

It was pretty funny itself.

 **The End.**


End file.
